Flyingsober.com

This is an excerpt to a chapter in my book.  Please tell me what you think.  It is not edited at this point.  Thanks, Lori

One day after a few too many glasses of wine, I made a decision that would interupt many other lives, and take on a whole story of its own.  I was adopted.  In 1966 most adoption’s were closed.  My adoption was also closed.  What that meant basically was that both sides, the birth mother and or father, and the adoptive parents would not have any personal information about one another, including names.  When I was in my early twenties, I was visiting mom and dad, and mom and I were in a conversation about my adoption.  We were looking through the papers when I clearly read, “baby girl Ducham”.  Mom, what’s this?  What does this mean?  Right here, look.  What is this……baby girl  D U C H A M.  My mom looked at me as if she had waited for this moment.  “That is your birth mothers name”.  she said.  “It wasn’t suppose to be on any of the papers that were sent  to us, but someone made a mistake”.   You could have knocked me over with a feather.  I sat there stunned.  I’m now in my twenties, and all this time her name was right here.  Right here in this little lock box that mom kept in the closet.  One of the biggest secrets of my life……my birth mom.  Why now?  Why would I see this now.  At the time I had just started flying with an airline I had moved to Nashville, I was really enjoying my life.  I don’t have time for this.  I don’t want to know this, not now.  Maybe not ever.  My head was spinning.  I had a million questions that I wanted answered.  But I also had a heart full of fear, and in my life at that time, fear always won over.  I planned to put Ms. or Mrs. or whatever she was Ducham, back in that little lock box and forget I ever saw those words…….Ducham….staring back at me.  I felt very uncomfortable with my mom.  I wanted to ask her some questions, but I feared the answers.  I did look at the rest of the pages and found that not only was her name on A paper, it was all over the adoption papers.  My birth mother, Betty Jean Ducham.  Betty gave birth to me, Lori Jane Hardin-Payne on September 26th 1966 in Albuquerque, NM.  

Here I am at home in Franklin, TN and like I said before, after a bit too much wine, I am watching the Maury Povich show.  Now normally watching Maury would not be such a dangerous thing, right?  I can’t even tell you what the show was about, but at the end there was this ad that popped up.    Find Anyone Anywhere   www……………………..com.

I have her name……Oh Lori, don’t even go there, she probably wants nothing to do with you.  I have her name……..I wonder where she lives?  Is she alive?  Is she O.K. ?  Was she young and had no choice?  What does she look like?  Do we have similar interests?  My mind began to go places that I had never allowed it to go before.  The wine had thrown all caution to the wind and I think before I even touched the keys on the keyboard, I knew I would find Betty.