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Living with the Hagee family that month was fast paced to say the least. I would think more than once, where do these people get their energy? From my location in the home, I could hear Pastor leaving somewhere around 5am each morning. When I am up that early, I know it’s got to be the Lord! I followed Diana around like a little puppy, and she sweetly let me, at times giving me some type of assignment at the church. These little things helped me to fit in and feel useful. I didn’t think much about alcohol, during my visit, which I still find very interesting. You have to understand that at this stage in my alcoholism, it was rare for me to not be thinking about it, or plotting to somehow still drink, while trying to hide it from everyone. Even in my home church, there were times that I volunteered at our church bookstore while hiding my drink under the counter. I’m not proud of these times. But through Gods grace and forgiveness I am not ashamed of who I was then. God was still working on me back then, just as he is working on me now. The difference is today I invite him in to do that “work” that I so desperately need. I try to stay out of self will, therefore giving God room to show his will for me. But back to my story. At one specific assignment I was allowed to sit on the left side of Pastor Hagee with a large stack of books to my left. My job was to open one book at a time to the front cover page, and slide it in front of Pastor. There he would autograph it and slide it on to another helper who would stack the finished product. Being the good alcoholic that I was, I was always looking for something or someone to blame my alcoholism on. So I take this opportunity to ask Pastor Hagee about generational curses. You know just in case that is the real problem that I need to look at. I wish I could tell you what he said. I was good at listening, when it was me doing the talking. I’m sure he said something very biblical and wise, but it all just went right past me. What a shame. Maybe someday I will have the chance to ask him again……….
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