Walking into the shelter that day years ago, I must have been so sick and in denial that I clearly could not see the truth from the false. My friend Sue, who was kind enough, or just in the wrong place at the wrong time when I asked her to sponsor me, had taken me there. In recovery a sponsor is someone who guides you through your recovery and all that entails. For me, bless her heart, this would mean my getting sick in her car, calling her so many times one night she finally put the phone in the drawer, and those were some of the better moments. So we arrive at the shelter to do a “walk through” and have their drug and alcohol program explained to us. In my mind, remember how dangerous it was up there, in my mind that is, I’m walking with a Real estate Agent showing me where my bed would be in my new home, and hoping that I will approve! I’m also trying to decide what colors would look best on my twin bed, and if Sue will take me to buy new ones. It is explained to me that I am required to stay in the Homeless Shelter area for 30 days, then I can be accepted next door into the Hope Center for a 6 month Recovery Program. The program is Biblically based. Sue approves of the program and I move in 3 days later, still in my cloud of denial.
During the first few days, the rules are introduced to me, and I am constantly thinking of ways to break them, or at least get around them. I also make sure to mention to any of the staff who would listen names of any “important or celebrity people” that I know. Once again in my mind, I must establish right away just “who I am” and how different I was from everyone else at the shelter. I was just at a bump in the road, and didn’t really belong there. After all, I had dined with Country Music Stars!!! I continued to look to all the worldly things that didn’t matter, and couldn’t see my sweet Jesus who was carrying me…… I read my Bible, said all the right things, but completely ignoring any personal relationship with God. I can picture Jesus at that time and wonder was he laughing about how silly I was? Or did it break his heart to see me so far away from him. Either way, he never left me, NEVER.
For I was hungry, and you fed me. I was thirsty, and you gave me drink. I was a stranger, and you invited me into your home.